“Social networks and constant access should be something that enhances our lives and the way that we wish to communicate with others. But that does not mean it has to be this way for everyone.”
Patrick Rhône
Maybe I should start this blog like I’m in a AA meeting, “my name is John and I had a problem” yes, that feels right. It’s been over 3 months since I deleted all my social media accounts, not only have I changed my digital life I’ve also been making big changes to my day to day life and I have to say that my mental health has improved more than I ever thought it could or would, too many of us rely on social media and bad lifestyle choices to get us through the day not realising just how much damage it does to our mental well-being.
I can hear you now, thinking not again with social media, so before I get deep into this blog I’d like to point out that I’ve never felt so positive and focused in all of my 49 years, it’s not just being positive but also being at peace with myself and those around me. I’ve written about social media and the effect it has had on me a few times in past blogs and I apologise if I end up repeating myself. This is the first time that I have deleted social media and actually stayed off of it and I wanted to write about how that has affected me and how I feel now that I have come off social media fully.
I’ve lost many a friend due to the fact that I’ve deleted all my online presence with the exception of this very blog, they didn’t seem to understand why I was doing it and for the most part, I never got any support or understanding. I felt as if the people around me were just being selfish, the pressure to stay on social media was unbelievable, but in the end, I had to do what was right for me even if it meant losing friends, but I started to realise that if they were truly my friends they would’ve understood and accepted my choice.
This was also a problem because I haven’t been to London in months, travelling is very difficult for me, I don’t feel good when I travel, I become dizzy and sick and it can take days for me to recover, not being able to travel built up even more frustration and I needed to find a way to deal with this and it brought me to a place I never thought would do me any good, meditation and a plant-based diet.
My blog allows me to spend time questioning all the things I have chosen to allow into my life, photography, friends, possessions right down to the food I eat. I’ve always been searching for happiness and like most of us I thought that having more stuff and the latest gadgets would bring me happiness, after becoming a minimalist I started to notice that what I was in search of wasn’t more but less, which then leads to more, now I find myself searching for enlightenment and along with my daily mediation, I feel that I’m on the right path to finding enlightenment.
I know that I’ve always been a hateful person, someone who talks just to moan and complain always pointing the finger at others thinking that I was better than everyone else this was something I couldn’t control and after talking with my GP and doing some reading on my own I realised that I’m a narcissist. Narcissism isn’t something that’s easy to accept, but it’s something I have to work hard at to overcome and this is where talking to a few of my friends has helped, I’ve asked them to stop me when I start to moan or they see me jumping on my soapbox, I’ve also asked them to be honest with me and boy, have they.
It’s time for me to start afresh, photography was the perfect place to start, I’ve never liked my work I always found it hard to accept compliments, instead of saying thank you and being honoured and pleased that someone liked what I was doing, I’d always start complaining saying negative things like my work wasn’t as good as that persons or I’m going to quit etc not only was this getting on the nerves of the people closest to me it was driving me nuts and it ended up taking me to a very dark place, which I’m pleased to report is no longer the case.
Being in lockdown I found myself watching lots of documentaries about social media, consumerism and health, it was shocking to me to see just how companies like Amazon Google Facebook etc are using people just to sell products in fact the more you look into it these companies you start to wake up to the fact that they have turned us into the products for nothing more than to make a quick buck not giving a thought to the damage they doing to society in general. I would like to point out at this point that I no longer use amazon and I haven’t used google in years.
Coming off social media and staying off social media has not been easy for me, I had no idea just how much I was addicted to these sites and I wasn’t spending that much time on them, maybe an hour a day, even that short amount of time was soul-destroying. I feel as if social media has become the new drug replacing cocaine, smoking etc we accept these sites without questioning what effects they have on us or what the agenda is of the people that run them, I don’t think it’s just about money, do you? Think about it, these sites tend to strip us of our values, identity, even going as far as to de-humanise us.
As a society, we have given away too much power to companies like Google and Facebook we’ve done this without questioning what the effect will be on society and far too many of us brush it aside saying well that’s just the way things are today. I really do wish that society would wake up to the effect that these key sites are having on us, brushing it off and saying well that’s just how it is today is like handing a handgun to a person and then refusing to take any responsibility when the person shoots someone.
It’s been more than 3 months since I came off social media and I still twitch looking for that rush of approval that I had when I was on Instagram and realising that I never really got any approval being on Instagram all I got was hatred and jealousy, now whenever I get the twitch I meditate, just 15 minutes of silent meditation allows me to look at myself and say what a fool I have been.
The reason I’m talking about this is that I’ve been questioning photography and whether I want to continue shooting. I must be honest at this point and say that without my blog and the lifestyle changes I’ve made I would’ve quit, I feel that social media has played a massive part in me questioning my work, (don’t get me wrong, I’m not blaming all my problems on social media I know that I let it into my life without questioning it) see I fell into the trap that most artists fall into with these sites in that if we don’t showcase our work on there we’ll fall into the cracks and be missed and I have never felt that was true, I now follow many photographers via their personal websites and I find that I’m getting way more value from seeing their work without all the noise of someone trying to sell me something or without the negative comments, instead I just enjoy what’s important to me and that’s the photos.
Doing this has had a massive effect on me mentally, I feel more at peace with myself I no longer have the worry I once did.
People use social media for all the wrong reasons, we look at what others have or at what others are doing and have you noticed when you do this you always end up feeling down, wishing you had the lives of the people you follow. The truth is it’s all fake, nobody has a perfect life, most are living off credit cards trying desperately to fit in with others they are following, we really do live in a vicious circle always trying to outdo the other person, in the past, we did this by copying our neighbours, they get a brand-new car we went out and got a brand-new car, the neighbours put in new windows we put in new windows, our neighbours bought a new kitchen we wanted a new and better kitchen, it was never-ending. Social media has made this 1000 times worse, these sites have only been around 10 years and I’d hate to imagine what effects it will have on the human race in 30 years, I’m just glad I’ll be long gone before we start seeing the true effects, but I do worry about my son.
I would love to see more photographers starting websites and blogs and I highly encourage you, my readers to start a website, trust me when I say that you’ll get more value and peace of mind from having something that you worked on and created, it’ll become something that you can be proud of.
I get so much pleasure from writing my blogs and sharing not only my thoughts but my photography and this is one of the reasons I’ll never quit doing what I’ve always loved, I won’t let the nastiness and jealousy of others make me feel bad about who I am and what I do, I’ll keep myself to myself going out onto the streets with nothing more than my camera and my thoughts it’s all about keeping things simple and being mindful and at peace with my surroundings.
Meditation has helped me focus on what really matters, over the past year I have lost friends, close friends and I used to blame everyone except me, I’d spend hours thinking what did I do, why has this happened, spending nights just lying in bed with a million thoughts racing through my head. Over the past few months meditation has helped me let go and not to worry about things that are out of my control, I know that I was loud, miserable, sad, opinionated and obnoxious so I don’t blame anyone for not wanting to be around me, I know that I need to be a better person and I’m trying.
I have my wife, who is my soulmate and the foundation I need in my life, I made the decision to focus on building our relationship stronger and not worrying about anything else around me, apart from our son of course who has just started university, I’m so proud of him.
I want to end this blog by saying that I’m in a great place, at peace not only with myself but the people around me, I also would like to thank you for taking the time to read my blogs, the fact that you use your valuable time to visit means the world to me, I hope to continue to bring you value from my writings and photos.
Thank you
