Although we can all experience positive moments, it is important to recognise that these moments do not necessarily translate into consistent positive emotions or a sense of inner well-being.
I’ve struggled, and I’m still struggling with severe anxiety and depression. I have made too many attempts on my life, and it’s rare that I feel good at both the start of a day and at the end of the day. Photography has always helped me control my mental health. The problem is that I feel like I’m losing that control, and so I find myself looking for inspiration to help me. But am I using the wrong word? Inspiration. I think it’s time for me to be honest with myself and say the correct word: Help.
As an artist, help and inspiration could be the same thing. Asking for help from the right person can lend to finding inspiration.
My inspiration comes from all places around me: music, books, and of course, movies. Now I’m finding it just by talking to friends and even from my psychologist.
Surrounding oneself with good, positive people is everything in this world. I’m lucky enough to have a few people that I can call upon when needed. Even though it’s good having people to talk with, I need to find inspiration when I’m on the streets with my camera or just inspirational material to get in the right mindset to pick up my camera and head out. This is something I really need help with.
For me, music— the right music— can get me moving. The song “ Killing Strangers” by Marilyn Manson is one that really gets me moving. It feels like it was written just for me. It’s the perfect street photographer’s song. Most days, while I’m on the streets, this song will play over and over. It was after all my most played song of 2024.
It’s only been the last 2 years that I’ve started playing music while doing street photography. It’s very important to be able to hear the streets, so I wont have the music that loud, I make sure that I can still just hear what’s happening around me. I have a few playlists that I listen to while shooting. However, I almost always come back to the soundtrack to the street photography documentary “Everybody Street.” This really gets me in the right mindset for shooting. As the music plays, I can hear Joel Meyerowitz saying, “Why do some photographers go to a studio, and others go to the street?” I get goosebumps just typing that.
Music, just thinking about some of my favourite albums sends goosebumps down my arms, and I’m sure on more than one occasion I’ve been singing out loud while walking through the streets. The power music plays in our everyday lives is strong, and most of the time we don’t seem to notice how important music is. The more I think about my life, my thoughts always seem to come back to music or movies, but when I think about movies, especially the ones from the 1980s, I almost always will go to my phone and start playing the soundtrack from said movie. My Apple Music account is full of movie soundtracks, and even my most played song of 2024, “Killing Strangers,” is from the movie John Wick.
Yes, I use music to drown out all the noise around me. Plus, I use it to inspire me in both my photography and writing. But there’s one more reason I wear headphones: it’s to stop people from engaging with me. If someone sees me wearing them, they won’t feel the need to disturb me, or at least that’s my hope.
Without music in life, I wouldn’t be able to leave the house. When I sit in a coffeehouse, it’ll help block out everything. As I focus on the music, I become lost within the notes. I float away into another world where there are no troubles, it’s my own private island that my mind and music have created, a micro holiday as Sean Tucker calls it.
As I’m writing this very blog I have Jean Michel Jarre Fourth Rendez-Vous playing, this piece of music takes me right back to me sitting alone in my room as a child becoming lost in the music escaping the real world if only for a few minutes and now it gives me nothing joy as I reflect on the very few moments of piece I had as a child.
“You’re Happy, and then you’re sad that is the rollercoaster that is life”
Papa Emeritus IV
So what inspired me to write this blog? The band Ghost. I was listening to the album “Rite Here, Rite Now,” and there’s a track where Papa talks to the audience about how we can feel good now but not all the time. It really got me thinking. I felt like he was talking directly to me. In April, I’ll be seeing them live in Manchester, and I can’t wait. I’m going to make sure my wife drags me to that concert. As I have in the past had panic attacks and missed concerts that I was really looking forward to. After writing that, I went straight into my music and I’m now playing the album “Rite Here, Rite Now.” Every time I play this album, I find I can’t stop smiling; it really helps me connect with myself and it lifts my spirit. Again, the power of music is limitless.
Thank you for reading and your continued support.